where he needed to be
by asdawnbreaks
Summary: Gale comes back to district 12 years after the war ends with a wedding invitation in his hand. Can he repair what's been broken? Does he want to? Gale faces his inner demons, post-MJ. Five or six shot.
1. Chapter 1

He strolled along the sidewalks of the districts, basking in the cool October sunshine. It was a little too cool for his light jacket, but the chill of the fall breeze wasn't enough to make him sway from his destination. He didn't smile at anyone he met, but it was clear that none of these new faces recognized his, which was good news to him. The last thing he wanted was an awkward confrontation of an old friend and the news of his arrival spreading through town. He hadn't told his mother he was coming for a reason: he didn't want the fanfare.

It was clear that nothing was the same, just a walk around the district could tell him that. The shops and houses he remembered were either rebuilt or replaced along the streets of District 12, and most of the people were either recovering or replaced. The starving, cold, sick memories of the past were just that—memories, memories that were replaced by the pleasant colored houses and full stomachs.

He wasn't sure why it bothered him so much to see the smiling faces of the kids playing on the sidewalks. It wasn't just the kids of district 12, but even the kids that he saw in 2 or anywhere else in Panem that he went. He attributed it to the lack of a "happy" childhood that he and his family had missed out on, the constant fear of the mines, starvation, and the risk of his secret hunting habit being found out.

He also attributed it to the whiskey he constantly drank, but he didn't like admitting that out loud.

So what was he holding on to? Was it the idea that one day things could magically go back to the way they were, except better? Was it the belief that saying sorry sincerely, face to face, could fix things as easily as a band-aid? That somehow he would finally find the magic words and there she'd be, arms open, ready to kiss him every night and have his babies.

There was only one thing from his past that he constantly felt the need to fix, he wasn't sure why, but for some reason she and all the mistakes he had made with her had been preying upon his mind all these years.

The chilled feeling from the breeze almost brought him back to memories from his teenage years—walking the girls home from school with his own brothers and sisters, taking the sluttiest girls in the district to the slag heap in the dead of night, and trudging through the woods looking for food… the list of memories he'd rather forget just drug on, and he found himself wishing he had packed more whiskey for this trip.

_What was he doing?_

It was a question he had asked himself at least ten times a day since he had made the decision to come. The invitation had to be something that was sent to him out of polite respect, not to actually get him to hop a train to 12. Surely no one had really expected him to come here, and that was why he had come. He had taken it as a sign, and maybe it was meant to be taken as a sign that she had moved on and was finally happy, but Gale determined it as a sign that he needed to intervene, and fast.

So he had called his boss, asked for two weeks off, hopped the first train he could catch and lit out for district 12.

And the closer the train brought him to his past, the more anxious he was. He only had two weeks, meaning he would be there for the wedding in a week and a half, and then he'd have a couple days to do…whatever. Gale knew he'd probably spend it sulking, but it would be better to sulk at home than to be by himself in his apartment. Besides, he hadn't been back to 12 to visit since… well, his mother would be happy to see him anyway, she had called to tell him she'd be in town a few days before, and made sure he knew what hotel she'd be at in case he wanted to come too.

By the time the train had halted in the familiar station, Gale had decided his first stop would be the familiar hunting grounds he used to roam. He needed the familiarity of the woods to slow his heartbeat, to clear his head, to help him find the words he so desperately needed.

With every step he took, he found himself calming down, the nerves fluttering away and the familiar confidence returning. Who was _she_ to ruin him anyhow?, he thought to himself. She was a woman, and he could have any that he wanted in district 2 to fill his bed. She was nothing more than an old friend, like any of the war buddies he still kept up with. And he had kept up with most of them.

Delly Cartwright had gotten married to a man she met in 13 nearly three years ago and Gale had been there for it. He had kept his picture of the two of them dancing during the reception, all happy and smiling, just like the two years that brought them together hadn't happened. As if they were two friends dancing at a wedding, happy for each other, not two friends who had fought beside each other in a brutal war.

No one had mentioned her that day directly, but several of his old friends asked him if he'd ever be tying the knot. He had smiled, made some jokes, but the answer was always the same: he'd probably never get married, he had his shot at love.

And when Annie had gone into labor, he took a train and met Johanna in district 4. He was the first person to hold the baby and Annie even let him cut the baby's cord, and he went back to see the baby boy occasionally. He knew he'd never take Finnick's place, but the baby was the closest thing Gale was going to have to a son, and he had been making plans to move out to 4 so he could see them more.

When Johanna had her snowmobile accident two years ago, Gale had been the first person that was called and the first person to show up in district 7. He had stayed out there for nearly a month, working from his laptop at home and doing his best to nurse Johanna back to health. She never mentioned it, but he knew that she was dying to talk about what had happened after the war, and Gale's emotional state. But in all the time he spent with her, Johanna never brought it up. Gale thought that was part of why he liked seeing her so much, but he never pushed the thought.

And of course, every year, everyone from the rebellion was invited to 4 so Annie would give them a big Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas was spent at Johanna's, and since Gale's birthday was in the summer, they would all come to district 2 for that. He even made a point of visiting his mother and Posy in district 13 every so often, but his mother's new husband grated on his nerves. Even so, it was much easier for Gale to be surrounded by friends and family than on his own.

Haymitch would sometimes come out and visit with them, even though his time was limiting in his old age. He hadn't lasted long in the Capitol politics before he just quit liquor and alcohol—both cold turkey. His sudden marriage to Effie hadn't really surprised anyone except Johanna. She had thrown a fit about it for days afterward, Gale remembered, but eventually she had come to terms with it and the two of them went to visit the happy couple in the Capitol City. Their home was a pleasant color, but not too big, just like Haymitch would want. Gale had been worried about visiting them alone, so he took Johanna, and while the girls were catching up, Haymitch had asked him the one question most people tried to avoid, "How are you?"

"I'm okay," he had shrugged, "Army keeps me busy."

True to character, he had taken a drag off a cigar, "You be quiet about this, boy, Effie doesn't know about this," gesturing to his cigar. "helps me stay off the alcohol." He had paused, and Gale could still remember that piercing smile that seared through every pretense he had ever put up. "She still doesn't know, does she?"

"Know what?" he had testily answered.

"How much you love her."

Gale had found himself taken aback by the bluntness, mainly because everybody had been so careful to spare his feelings since the war ended. He never responded to the statement (still hadn't), and it had never come up again.

But as the years went on, only one member of the original Mockingjay team didn't show up. And the only person it didn't surprise was Gale.

Peeta had made her excuses at every function or party there had been in the years, but it still bothered everyone that she didn't want to be seen or to see them. In a way, they all understood (Gale most of all), but it still hurt their feelings that she was so ready to close the book on such a big chapter of their lives.

Gale looked up from his trip down memory lane, shoulders still broad with confidence; she was just another war buddy, and Gale was just another old friend attending her wedding. Gale almost smiled when he realized his feet had found the old familiar path, but frowned when it did not show the signs of neglect that he had figured. In fact, the path to the woods was quite worn, as if someone had been using it more than once or twice per day. There was only one person in the world that followed the same path Gale was using, and he felt his heart sink and his confidence give way.

"_Katniss_."

It almost hurt for Gale to say her name. He frowned, not realizing he had said it out loud. How long had it been since he had said her name, just in a casual conversation?

Even in the beginning of their friendship, Gale had always found a reason to talk about her, to bring her up, to brag on her. But since the war had ended, he had found himself doing everything he could to avoid her name, her picture, her personality, anything that resembled her. Even hunting. He had assumed that she had done the same, based on the casual but pointed reports Johanna would give him.

But she was hunting again.

Did going into the woods make her think of him? Surely it did.

Did she sit on their old rock and think about the past? Surely she did.

Or did she avoid their old spots altogether? He wouldn't blame her if she did.

He stopped where the fence should be…or, was. It was hard to think of district 12 as a completely new thing now; he needed to stop comparing it to what it was. He closed his eyes and remembered mornings of calmly listening to the fence, and he felt his heartbeat slow as his body yearned for the familiar buzz of the electric fence to signal his safe passage into the woods.

But the fence wasn't there anymore. Neither were any of the things that he so desperately wanted to see in this district.

So he opened his eyes again and kept walking the path to the hollow logs that housed their bows. He wondered if his was still there, preserved after all this time, because he had never had time to come back and get it after everything was settled. He started to panic a little, almost swearing at himself for coming into the woods with no more than his knife, but he held back and kept quiet when he saw the familiar glint of an arrow.

He jogged over to the glint and picked the bow out of the log and swore out loud, because this was not his bow. He didn't know how he was able to tell (it had been years, after all), but this was _her_ bow, resting in the place where _his_ should be. Why would she do that? And where was his bow if it wasn't here?

"Well if you're going to take my bow, I'll just hunt with yours," he said to no one, chuckling when he realized how much sass was in his voice. He didn't know if she would mind him taking her bow or not, but since she wasn't using it, he didn't figure she'd need it anytime soon.

He shrugged and took the sheath of arrows from the log too, deciding he could surprise his mother with some fresh meat when he finally went to where they were staying.

Why was she still keeping it in the woods, anyway? All the old laws had been abolished; hunting was legal now, so there was no reason to hide her weapons.

Maybe old habits die hard, Gale thought to himself.

Or maybe… could she have left it there, _for him_, knowing one day that he would come back and want to use it?

Gale rolled his eyes and himself and shook his head, he was reading too far into a story that had already ended.

The woods still showed signs of the bombs that had blown away the districts, a few burned logs here and there, but for the most part it had remained untouched. The burned logs brought him back to that memory of leading his friends out of the district, and watching several more acquaintances burn to death before his eyes.

He shook his shoulders and readied the bow. He hadn't shot in several years, but he figured it was like riding a bike and could be picked back up instantly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting his senses take over. Within seconds, he pulled back the string of the bow, and was back in the frame of mind he constantly kept when he was seventeen.

The woods took over his senses, he was hunting.

* * *

Several missed birds, squirrels, and one fat rabbit later, Gale realized that picking hunting back up wasn't as easy as he previously thought.

He was frustrated, there wasn't anyone around to tell him why his shooting was off. Normally she was the first one to tell him that he was jerking at the last second or that his aim was just off. But she wasn't here, so he was trying to make due on his own.

And he was doing a piss-poor job.

The sun was starting to set, so he decided if he missed one more animal, he was going home. A squirrel ran across a tree in his line of sight, so he took a deep breath, drawing back the bow, and firing on the animal.

And he missed.

Gale swore audibly, scaring off any game that was left. He rolled his eyes at his stupidity and made his way back to the rock. He slumped in his normal spot and put her bow on her side.

It felt…empty without her there. That was the best adjective he could come up with. It wasn't quite lonely—although he did wish she were here—but it just felt weird.

He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. It was so nice to be home, even if the circumstances were the complete opposite of the last time he was here. He thought back to the very last time he had sat in this spot, on this rock. Katniss had wanted to come back before…

Before he tore apart both their worlds.

Had he known it was going to be the last time, what would he have done? Kissed her? Told her he loved her? No, because something like that would've ruined the magic of their spot. That's what Gale realized he missed the most about home: the magic of _their _woods.

It wasn't the thrill of the hunt or the fluidity of their partnership that made the woods magic, and Gale couldn't really admit to himself what it was that made the place magical to them, but it was. He spent hours thinking about it in district 2 and the only thing he could think that was really magical about the woods was the feeling of normality and regularity that he and Katniss shared in a world that was quickly falling apart.

In the days of the old Panem, the old district 12, the old Gale and Katniss, the only regularity they had was the familiar hunting grounds and their own partnership. It was normal for them both to rise before the sun and head to the woods to hunt, normal for them to tease each other, normal to hunt.

His phone started to buzz in his pocket, and he ignored it, questioning why he brought the damn thing anyway. It was either the real world calling to see where the hell he was, or someone who was calling to check on his mental status, and he didn't really have the patience or time for either.

He tried to smile at the setting sun but found he couldn't manage more than a smirk. He knew he should probably go home soon and surprise his family, but he couldn't wait to find his bow and come back out here every day for the next two weeks. He got up from the rock and started to walk back to town, it seemed longer than the walk into the woods, but he smiled when he realized how happy his mother would be to see him.

When he walked to the hollow log, he wondered again where his bow was, and if Katniss even came to the woods to hunt anymore. He knew there was only one way to really find out how much she was hunting or how often, or how pissed she would be when she realized he was back in town. So instead of placing her bow carefully back into the log, he simply placed the wedding invitation there and left it. He figured she would realize instantly who left her the message, picking up on his humor as if the last few years hadn't past—and if she didn't, it would let Gale know that the Katniss he knew was gone and wasn't ever coming back.

His phone started to buzz again, he groaned, picking it out and was partially surprised to see a photo of Johanna come up on the screen. Even though they lived so far away, Gale was always happy to know that she never forgot him. Their relationship had never been of a romantic sort (except for one awkward night that Gale couldn't forget, regardless of how much whiskey he had had), but Johanna was his closest friend…almost closer than Katniss had been.

He touched the screen to answer her call, "Hello Jo."

"Gale! Where on earth are you? Paylor called me this morning wondering if you had come out here."

He smirked and rolled his eyes before remembering that she couldn't see him. He just remained silent and waited for her to panic.

But Johanna didn't panic.

"Did you go out there?" she asked, in a low voice.

"I did."

She sighed, "What is that going to accomplish, Gale? Are you trying to be killed?"

"She's not going to kill me," Gale chuckled.

"There's only three ways I see this ending," Johanna went on, as if she hadn't heard him. "Either she kills you or Peeta does—"

"Not going to happen."

Johanna huffed her breath, "Do you mind if I talk for a minute?"

Gale smiled, "Please, go on."

"Either one of them kill you, you somehow stop the wedding, or…" her voice lowered to a sad whisper. "Or they get married and it breaks your heart…again."

It was rare that Johanna _actually_ pretended she ever had a heart, so Gale just remained silent, unable to face the truth in her voice. If the wedding took place, it would 100% shatter the remainder of the heart he had left. It made Gale question why he had really come out to district 12 in the first place.

Would he try to interrupt the wedding? Was he trying to confuse her enough to doubt herself?

Could he live with himself if he did?

"Gale, are you going to be able to do this alone?"

He took a deep breath, "I don't know, Johanna. I don't really even know why I'm here, it just felt like where I was supposed to be."

"Do you want me to come down for the wedding? At least then you could pretend I drug you down there."

He thought about the idea—it was going to be a lot easier to explain that Johanna had made him come rather than him just thinking it was a good idea. He smiled wide for the first time in years.

"Yeah, come down. How soon can you be here?"


	2. Chapter 2

"And then Adrianne said that she didn't like Joshan, but I think she does, no matter what she says," Posy went on, squeezing Gale's hand the more excited she got.

Gale chuckled, "And _why_ is that a problem, Pose?"

She rolled her eyes, "Weren't you listening, Gale? I _like_ Joshan."

"Right, right, please continue."

But she didn't, she stayed silent, just walking along and holding Gale's hand. It was almost like the old days when he used to walk them all to school.

"Do you like Marlon?" Gale asked her. He had his own doubts on his mother's new husband, only having met him once or twice before they got married.

"He's okay."

"Just okay?" Gale probed.

Posy shrugged, "It makes Mom happy, so I can't really complain. I wish I'd known Dad though. I mean, I don't really know how a father should act, you were the closest thing I had."

Gale squeezed her hand harder and didn't reply.

The train station was as cold and uninviting as ever. Gale could remember a time when the fanfare from the Hunger Games tributes and Victory Tours made the place almost happy, but not quite.

It seemed everywhere he looked, he could see the ghosts from their past.

He remembered her first Games, being here to watch her get on the train and feeling it completely shatter his heart. He had been unsure if he'd ever see her again and he hadn't gotten to tell her that he loved her.

And standing in the very same spot, he remembered putting Prim on his shoulders to see Katniss and wave her home. It had been a small moment, but Gale could remember how big Katniss smiled when she saw the two of them.

Except now the train that was pulling in the station was carrying Johanna, the only other best friend he had ever had. Posy gripped his hand hard in excitement, because she was one of the few people that truly looked up to Johanna.

During their stay in district 13 all those years ago, Posy had come to look at Johanna as an idol, and the feeling had stayed long after the war ended. When the family had come out to district 2 over the years, Gale always made sure that Johanna could come down for at least a day to see Posy. He didn't know why it was so important, but the two of them had a female type companionship that Gale just didn't get. And with Posy in her teenage years, Gale knew positive influences were just as important as ever.

The train came to a heavy stop and Gale had to hold Posy back from running to meet it. He chuckled, wishing he could be that happy over anything.

His mother and sister had certainly been that happy to see him.

Hazelle had told Gale a few weeks ago that she was coming down for the wedding—good manners, she explained, but Gale had let the comment in one ear and out the other. He had told no one when he decided to come down to 12, so it surprised everyone when he showed up at their hotel and knocked on their room door. Posy had screamed, Hazelle had cried, and Marlon just smiled and shook his hand.

It was rare that they got to see Gale anymore—mostly because he hated going to 13. It was just too much for him, and Hazelle understood that. Rory and Vick had both moved to other parts of the country: Rory moved to 7, marrying Johanna's younger cousin, so Gale saw them often. Vick had decided to move to the Capitol, using his brain for development of technology in Panem and Gale saw him nearly once a month.

"Are you and Johanna going to stay by yourselves?" Posy asked.

Gale nodded, "Probably. She might be too pissed at me to do much."

"Well, you shouldn't have came without her."

Gale rolled his eyes, "Just what I needed, a bunch of girls to gang up on me."

The train doors opened and Johanna stepped onto the platform with her small suitcase. She spotted the two of them and broke out into a huge smile and started walking toward them. She greeted Gale with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and nearly killed Posy with a bear hug. Gale smiled and took her suitcase and they started to walk back to the hotel.

"Why are you doing this, Gale?" Johanna asked.

Gale chuckled, "I thought maybe it'd be nice if you were my date to the wedding."

Johanna stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and turned to face him, "You _know_ what I'm talking about."

He shrugged, "Can we not talk about this in front of my baby sister? Please?"

"Whatever Gale," Johanna said. "Are you going hunting today?"

Gale nodded, "Probably."

"And let me guess, you're wanting to go right this second," Johanna said.

He smirked, "Of course."

"Do you think she just took the invitation? Or maybe she just kept your bow. Or _maybe_, she's waiting in the woods right now, to kill you and eat your spine," she snickered.

"Ya know, I almost regret calling you last night and telling you about that."

Johanna rolled her eyes, "Fine. Go. But," she said, pointing her finger at him, "you and I are going to have a _serious_ conversation later."

Gale didn't need to be told twice. He smiled, kissed both their cheeks and took off toward the woods, smiling wider than he had in a long time. He had been thinking about the wedding invitation he had left all day, wondering if the forest was still standing. He could only picture Katniss's rage of finding the invitation and not the bow, and imagined her tearing the woods down.

He chuckled as he walked to the woods. Johanna had gotten to the point where she knew him almost as well as the back of her own hand, but Gale didn't complain. He had missed having someone to take care of him when he needed it, let him go when he'd had too much, and to just generally be whatever he needed.

Johanna was really good about letting him do his own thing, so much so that Gale had decided if he reached 40 and was unmarried, he would ask Johanna. He didn't see that happening, but it was nice to think about.

His mind started to drift to Katniss, wondering if she had gotten his surprise "message" or not. He chuckled, picturing how many shades of red her face would turn before she started yelling at him.

Part of him hoped she would be relieved he was there, but he doubted it.

He trekked through the woods, finding the same hollow log. The wedding invitation was gone and Gale suddenly didn't feel like hunting anymore. He searched around, hoping it had blown out or was taken by some animal—any other explanation—but he found nothing.

He had been so cocky, so witty, leaving the invitation there for her, but now, the realization that she might have _actually_ found it…the thought was maddening.

Their usual meeting spot wasn't too far from where Gale was, so he decided to keep walking, hoping by the time he got there he would feel more like hunting.

It was colder outside than it had been the day before, Gale was grateful for the thick hunting jacket and boots he had brought with him. The jacket and boots were a matching set, each lined with the best rabbit skin Capitol money could buy and each had more than proven its worth since Gale had lived in the Capitol and in 2. While winters in district 12 were very cold, they didn't seem to last as long as the winters in 2 did—maybe it was Gale's imagination, but he had bought the coat nonetheless.

When he reached the old rock, he chuckled to himself. His old bow was sitting on top of it, with a note. He ignored the note and picked up the bow and the quiver, testing it against his hands and finding it remarkably odd that the bow still seemed as if it were made for his hand. He gripped it tight, pulling back an arrow against the tight string.

It made him feel as if he were invincible, as if he could kill anything in the woods that he wanted. He took a deep breath, letting his senses take back over—feeling as if he were a predator.

He opened his eyes again and smirked to the woods, as if the animals weren't about to see what hit them. The wind caught the note off the rock and sent it flying toward the ground near Gale's feet. He groaned, his temporary top-of-the-food-chain fantasy paused.

He unfolded the note and was surprised to see it was the same invitation he had left yesterday. He turned it over and found the words _lake house_ in Katniss's chicken-scratch handwriting.

Gale sat down for a moment, pondering the note. If Katniss really wanted to see him, wouldn't she just have left the note and took his bow with her? Because he already had her bow, so didn't that leave her defenseless? Why would she give him the option of taking his weapon instead of using it for collateral that he would come to the lake house?

He shook his head and rubbed his temples, maybe it was her idea of a fun joke. _Doesn't matter_, he thought_, might as well humor her._

* * *

_What right did he have to be here_? She thought to herself.

She had been unnecessarily irritated since she found his clever little _note_ he had left. Not only did she realize that she couldn't hunt with her bow, but it pissed her off that no one had told her that he was in town.

She didn't really understand why it mattered to her so much that he was here, but it did. All these years, everybody had _finally_ moved on, stopped telling stories about him, stopped questioning where exactly he was, and stopped asking Katniss when he was going to come back in town. Even she had finally moved on—accepting the fact that Gale Hawthorne would not and could not be a part of her life, or the life of her soon-to-be husband and kids (if that ever happened).

And yet here he came, just messing up everybody's lives again. It just plain irritated her.

That's why she had left him the note, so she could tell him to get the hell out, that he wasn't wanted. He hadn't been sent an invitation for a reason.

So she had come out here early, hoping to catch him and direct him to the lake house so she could yell at him in peace. This way, no one—especially Peeta—would have to know that he was here. She could tell him to go, and in a week she could marry Peeta and everything would be back to normal.

She started to pace.

What if he didn't go? What in Panem's name was she going to do if he wouldn't leave her the hell alone? All those years of her trying to initiate contact, trying to get _something_ out of him, not even an apology, and it all went unanswered. All the years of trying—wasted.

Katniss thought that was what irritated her most about Gale: the wasted years. In fact, she had wasted most of her life on Gale Hawthorne, and it irritated her. She had spent many nights reflecting on the end of the war, trying to imagine what she would have done if Gale had actually tried to help her like Peeta did. She couldn't imagine herself acting any different, but she always imagined Gale trying to light a fire under her ass.

_…only he didn't._

Gale had just walked away from her, as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

As she paced, Katniss decided she was going to give him the same courtesy.

Her anger kept building the longer she paced, thinking of all the terrible things that had happened to her because of Gale. She blamed the entire rebellion on him, all the friends she lost, and even the piece of herself that she still wasn't sure was human. Katniss paced, stomped, cried out against Gale, until she looked down and realized she was making fists so hard that her knuckles were turning white.

She rolled her eyes, looking down at her watch and seeing it was nearly time to try to catch something to eat for lunch. _Gale's going to do his damn best to keep me out here all night_, she thought. She grabbed her spare bow off the bed and ran her shoulder into the old door, bursting out into the midday sun.

She straightened up her jacket and bent down make sure her pants were tucked into her boots, noticing that the breeze was even cooler than it had been yesterday. The thought irritated her. Maybe it was because winter had almost always been a death sentence for her and her family.

Old habits were hard to break.

She looked up, trying to determine if she should start fishing or just head into the woods and hunt.

…and then she saw him.

Gale Hawthorne had always looked as if he belonged in the forest, and since he had been gone that was how Katniss always pictured him, right on the edge of the forest, holding the morning's kill.

It was remarkable to her that he hadn't changed—not a bit. His hair was almost the same length, his bulky hunting clothes made it hard to tell if he had gained any weight. Even from across the lake, she could see his same crooked smirk, and he shrugged so she could see the deer he killed, as if he was trying to impress her.

_But the way he carried himself_… it was almost as if she had been transported back in time to when she was sixteen years old. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to pretend that the last decade or so hadn't happened, that she and Gale weren't adults—they were kids, just like it used to be.

But it wasn't the same. She knew that.

She opened her eyes again and allowed the built-up feelings to penetrate her expression and she saw the look of anger and disgust she knew that was on her face be mirrored by Gale's pained and hollow expression.

Gale Hawthorne didn't _belong_ in district 12 anymore; it was hers, and hers alone. He could head back to 2 right now and no one (especially Katniss) would lose any sleep over it. And if he didn't know that…well, it was time he did.

Instead of heading back inside the lake house, she decided to just sit on a stump near the entrance. She didn't mean to stay long—just to tell him that he wasn't welcome and he could stick that invitation where the sun didn't shine.

He took his sweet precious time walking over to where she was sitting, probably scared, she decided. She liked knowing that she intimidated him, that she made him uneasy. She had that effect on a lot of people, but she especially liked having that effect on Gale Hawthorne.

It suited her, after all the years.

When he finally reached her, he slumped the deer of his shoulder and sat down next to it on a fallen log. He went to reach for his hunting knife at his belt and suddenly stopped, looking up at her, "Do you want my full attention or should I go ahead and skin this?"

She just shrugged, "Depends on how long you plan on staying out here."

Gale didn't respond, instead he just looked at her, and she could see the bags under his eyes, the dark circles that had formed there, even the wild hair: all evidence of many sleepless nights.

She felt as if the breath had been knocked out of her, she was probably the reason why he had the circles and bags to begin with.

What had Gale Hawthorne been _doing_ all this time?

Surely he hadn't been missing her. Surely not.

* * *

Gale couldn't remember the last time he had ever seen anything as beautiful as she was. He had been all over the country, traveled to many far off and exciting places, but never had he seen someone so beautiful as Katniss Everdeen.

The years had suited her well, he decided, the lost, deprived, starving teenager look being replaced by the toned, confident, and peaceful look of a woman. He couldn't help but stare at her.

"Why did you call me out here?" he asked. "You could've just left my bow and been done with it."

She turned to him and started to smile, then acted as if she thought better of it and crossed her arms, "I got your calling card yesterday—remember?"

Gale chuckled, "I thought it was pretty funny."

"When can I have my bow back?" she snapped.

"Tomorrow, if you'd like," Gale said, starting to skin the large buck he had shot on his way over.

The silence settled uneasily between them. Gale had been practicing things to say to her all day, ranging from 'you're a hateful bitch' to 'please don't marry him.' But for some reason, he couldn't think of a single thing that wouldn't sound utterly ridiculous.

"Why did you come here?" Katniss blurted.

Gale rocked back on his heels and stopped skinning, almost as if he were stunned by the question. No doubt, it was one he had asked himself over and over, but did he really need to tell her the real reason? He shrugged.

"Just thought it would be nice to show up since I got the fancy invite and all."

The smile that was playing at her lips fell, and instead it was replaced with a look of worry, as if he had said something important that he wasn't supposed to say.

"What?"

Katniss stood up from the stump and walked toward the lake, stopping just in front of Gale and turning around to meet his eyes, "I didn't send the invitation—I don't know who did."

"Maybe my mother sent it."

Katniss just raised her arms and shrugged again, she didn't even know he had known about the wedding until she had seen the invite in the hollow log. "You still didn't answer my question," she said softly.

"What was that?" he said, turning around and going back to skinning the deer.

Katniss could feel herself start to get irritated—and it angered her that she let him get under her skin already—why wasn't he paying attention to her? All these years apart and he didn't even have the decency to look her in the eyes.

She hated the man.

"Why did you come?"

Gale just skinned the deer some more, letting the question hang. It wasn't one he really wanted to answer, but felt that he was inclined to. "I don't know, Katniss."

She put a hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes at him—this was it, the angry outburst she had been rehearsing. She walked up to him, grabbed the knife and tossed it away from what he was doing with the deer.

"You just decided you were coming down here? For _what_, Gale? Tell me _why_. What was running through your head?" she was screaming, angry, yelling at the top of her lungs even though Gale was the only person that could hear her.

He looked up at her, and she could see all the years of hurt and pain reflecting in his stormy gray eyes. She wanted to hate him, she wanted to curse him and spit at him and drive him away from her, but something in the pain of Gale's eyes just made her crumble. For once, she wasn't questioning what Gale had been doing for those years—she could see it plain as day on his face.

"I missed you, Catnip."

_He had missed her_.

Every fiber of her being wanted to hug him, surrender him to her, to forget all the time that had passed and continue on just as things had been, but she stopped herself. She was getting married in a week and a half.

While things with Gale could never be exactly the way they were, did that mean that they had to continue in the way they had been?

She retreated to the stump and sat back down. All the years of fighting with herself, wondering what she should have done and said fading into realizing that Gale was no longer a part of her life and erasing him completely… was that how it _had_ to happen? Could she change it?

An even better question was if she even wanted to.

"Don't have a response?" Gale quietly probed.

There was a sadness in his voice that Katniss could identify with: it was the sadness of being alone. After Prim's death and before she really accepted anyone's help, Katniss could hear that same sadness in her own voice and could see it on the faces of others when she spoke.

But she remembered how she had hated that same sadness—how she hated people feeling sorry for her, as if she couldn't accept Prim's fate on her own. It had taken years, but she had come to terms with what happened to Prim and had grown up from it.

It struck her hard that Gale Hawthorne still hadn't come to terms over what had happened with them.

And as bad as Katniss didn't want to, she knew Gale subconsciously needed someone to lend him a hand.

"Don't call me 'Catnip.'"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: little rewrite towards the end, makes the story flow a little easier, lol. new chapter coming asap, guys, i promise.

* * *

"Of course everybody misses you," Gale explained. "They always used to ask me about you… I just never knew how you were, so I never really gave an answer. Eventually they stopped asking me and just asked Haymitch or Peeta."

She nodded, eating a bite of the deer meat Gale had just finished cooking, "Did _you_ ever ask about me?"

"Occasionally Johanna would give me reports on how you were doing, but nothing too extreme."

She looked at her watch and saw that it was nearing 4 in the afternoon—they had been out here several hours and she knew soon Peeta would be questioning where she was. She wondered what he would say if she told him she had spent the larger part of the day catching up with Gale Hawthorne.

"I need to get back too," Gale admitted, reading her thoughts. It was eerie to Katniss that he could still do that, but she knew that an old habit was hard to break.

"Did you come by yourself?"

He shook his head, gathering up all the crude packages deer meat he had butchered himself. "Johanna came down this morning, but it was more of a cover-up/date thing, I guess," he admitted—there was no use in lying to her.

Katniss just nodded, it figured that Gale didn't want anyone to know the real reason he had come.

"So how does the dress look?" Gale asked.

"Huh?"

"Your dress?... the one you're getting married in?"

"Oh," Katniss giggled, "It's pretty, I think; Mom's old one."

Gale chuckled, "You think? It's your wedding dress, Katniss. You should feel beautiful in it."

She shrugged, gathering up her spare bow and some of the meat. "I guess."

"You're not excited about this wedding at all, are you?" Gale softly whispered.

She turned and looked at him, her eyes baring into his soul, or at least, that's what it felt like. He felt as if her stare alone would set him on fire. He felt himself pat down his arms and chest, but his skin was not seared, not scarred not…

Burning.

From fire.

Like—like Prim.

He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose, desperate for a change in thought. He breathed slowly through his nose, just like the therapist taught him to.

Inhale, exhale, forget. Inhale, exhale, forget, repeat.

He could almost hear her mantra, _inhale, exhale, forget, change the subject._

"What happened? I never got the story after the war," Gale remarked, desperate for any change in the atmosphere.

She sighed — Gale could easily tell it wasn't something she didn't really care about sharing with him. But if the shoe were on the other foot, would he really be willing to tell his 'true love' story to someone he used to love?

The silence hung for a few seconds, Gale closed his eyes and began to listen to the sounds of the forest again, feeling the woods breathe around him. These woods held so many memories for him and Katniss too.

Especially this lake house.

It was the last place he kissed her, the last place he told her he loved her, the first place he went when the district was going up in flames.

Flames, flames flames.

His whole life revolved around fire of some kind.

_Inhale, exhale, forget._

Whether she saw the internal breakdown that Gale was having or if she finally felt like talking, Gale didn't know. And the change in subject was so welcome that he didn't really care.

"Well after the trial, I got pretty low," she began. "I didn't really want to speak to anybody, I just wanted to die in peace and let everybody else move on… but you already knew that," she tried to laugh, but it came out forced, meaningless—and borderline creepy.

"Eventually I got so bad that I began self harming. I started drinking insane amounts every night, being careless in the woods, e—even…this," she said, pulling up the sleeve of her jacket.

Gale leaned in closer and gently touched her arm. Concealed beneath the fabric were the scars of at least 20 different attempts.

_Twenty different tries._

She had tried to kill herself. Twenty times. Over what _he_ did.

"Katniss," Gale soothed, still tracing the scars, "why would you do something like that?"

She shrugged, "I felt that everybody had quit on me. Mom couldn't be around me because of Prim, you couldn't be around me because you did it, Peeta and Haymitch were just giving me my space, but I felt as if I were being shut out."

"You know that isn't true."

"I do now," she said. "Eventually I just decided that there was a reason I didn't die during the war. It was hard, but eventually I stopped being angry over it. I had started the damn revolution to keep my baby sister alive and fed…and it didn't work out that way for her, but it did for so many others."

"Like my family," Gale commented.

She nodded, looking down at her arm, realizing her scars were still exposed, and that Gale's warm hands were still tracing them. She yanked down the jacket and took a step back to sit on her log.

"My therapist kept trying to encourage me to find a friend, to basically replace the roles you and Prim had filled, but everybody I saw had some kind of memory that triggered something that would make me feel awful. So eventually I quit doing that."

"I stopped caring about mostly everything. Every day, I went in the woods at the same time, shot enough for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I came home, and cooked it. Sometimes I would turn on the news, but then they'd start talking about some bullshit you had done or some terrible thing they uncovered about Snow and I'd just turn it off and go to sleep. It was just enough hunting to keep everybody on my mind, but not enough to truly put me in my element and help me forget."

She sighed, "And then one day, about a year after Prim's passing, I noticed that someone had been bringing me food every day. It wasn't something that really bothered me before, but every day when I went to the woods, someone (and I knew exactly who) was dropping off some bread and fruits to go with whatever I shot that day. It was…well, sweet, and I didn't quite know how to handle it. But it had been over a year—it was time to move on."

Gale noticed she told the story mechanically, as if she were telling some boring form of gossip about someone else's life. It almost bothered him that it was her own love story that she was telling—and she didn't even seem interested.

"So I walked to Peeta's with the basket and asked him what he thought he was doing. He told me 'I just wanted to make sure you were eating enough, and I have all this extra food here at the bakery.'"

"It was nice, and it had been so long that I'd had any _real_ human interaction that it took me off guard. He asked me if I liked hunting anymore and I told him I was only doing it for something to eat, just as we had all our lives, Gale. He offered me a job and explained that I didn't have to go in the woods if I didn't want to."

She paused, "So I did. I took the job and started to spend time with him. It was different than spending time with you, because Peeta knew me in such a different way than you did. But we worked on it. We wrote in journals, painted, baked, and took long walks together. He got used to holding my hand and kissing my cheek. It never really felt…right, but it made him happy, so I was okay. And eventually, I stopped going to the woods."

"But you came back," Gale interrupted. "I saw the path was really worn."

She nodded, "The next year—on your birthday, actually—I decided to come back. I didn't bring a bow, just sat on the rock and thought about well, everything. We hadn't spoken in nearly two years, and I figured that meant that you had truly moved on. I had been hearing that you loved what you did in District 2 and you were having the time of your life. I figured since you could move on, it was time that I did too."

"When I got home that night, Peeta had cooked an amazing dinner for me, so when he kissed me on the cheek afterward, I pulled him in and kissed him. Eventually we moved in together, and here we are years later, about to get married."

When she finished, Gale just sat silently. Of course it wasn't the full story—he didn't think his heart could really handle the full story—but there it was.

"Does he treat you nice?"

She nodded, "Sometimes it's almost too much. Before, I needed someone to just come to with all my troubles—someone that accepted me like I am. But now…well, it's almost annoying."

Gale stood up to leave, and Katniss followed in behind him. It was weird to her that only a few hours with him and she felt _comfortable_ again.

"More annoying than I am to you?" Gale chuckled.

"No, Hawthorne," Katniss smiled. "Not at all."

They walked in silence back through the woods, and for the first time in months, silence didn't scare Gale. It was nice to just walk along with her, feel the breeze ruffle his hair, and the crunch of leaves that signaled her step behind him. They reached the old fence and Gale stopped out of habit to listen for the hum of the electricity that no longer ran through it. He smiled when he turned around to see Katniss doing the same thing.

"Old habits die hard, huh?" she laughed. She dropped her gaze from his and looked down, concentrating hard on whatever she was going to say next.

The silence hung, Gale almost wanted to break her concentration, but he was afraid she would never say whatever she was thinking if he did.

"Think we should go by and see Greasy Sae? She'll want to see you."

Gale nods, "We could sell some of this meat – maybe I'll buy Posy a present. I'll keep most of it though…" he goes on, starts rambling about having enough for dinner.

"We could go hunting again," she interrupts.

He almost stops walking, running her words back through his head to be sure that she said what he thought she said.

"You want to go hunting?"

She nods casually, "We could go in the woods every morning like we used to. It'd be a nice… stress reliever," she adds.

"I suppose planning a wedding could do that to someone."

"_Planning_?" she scoffs. "You'd have to ask Effie about that. I haven't gotten to make a single decision since I said yes."

Gale just nods, and he's so unsure of what to say that he pulls out his phone. He has two texts from Johanna, both wondering where he is. He starts to feel bad that he's left her alone with his family for the whole day, but he knows she won't mind – Johanna never does.

He clicks away at the phone and sends one back explaining about dinner, and how much he has to tell her.

"I don't have a cell phone," she admits to him. "Never did like the idea of people being able to reach me at all times."

Gale nods – it makes sense – and it probably would've been his reasoning if Paylor hadn't demanded that he get one. Honestly it was probably the thought process of every person who used to live in District 12, his mother especially. They had had the argument many, many times over a cell phone, but she just decided it wasn't for her.

Just like the TV, the dishwasher, the self-running vacuum, and the car.

As they walked, Katniss started to ramble. Gale wasn't sure if it was due to her nervousness or if she just needed someone to talk to that bad.

"…I would just come out in the woods and sit and sit all day long and it would drive Peeta insane. He only came looking for me one time: I found him sitting on our rock and I nearly shot him for being so stupid," she said, catching Gale's attention.

"Why did it make you mad?"

Katniss looks at him with her mouth open and finally starts walking again, ignoring his question. His phone buzzes in his pocket again, but he neglects to answer it, feeling as if it would be rude in some way.

The Hob sits in the same place it used to, but the building looks newer – but to Gale it seems as if the rebuilding of the Hob went hand in hand with the regrowth of the woods. He almost smiles realizing that fire doesn't really destroy everything.

_Fire._

He swears in his head, takes a deep breath, and follows Katniss into the Hob.

He's surprised at first by how many faces he doesn't recognize, but even more surprised by how many faces he does. Greasy Sae has the same corner of the warehouse as she used to, and she's surrounded by several other vendors that used to give Katniss and Gale such a hard time as kids.

They walk to her booth and sit down, Gale setting half the meat on the counter and turning his head.

"Well, well, if it isn't the Mockingjay herself," Sae calls out to the rest of the warehouse. Gale hears a few whistle, some even pretend to bow down, but most just wave at her and smile.

He turns around and sees Katniss blushing, with the deadliest look in her eyes. It's clear that she hates the title now almost as much as she did during the war.

When he locks eyes with Sae, she narrows her eyes at him, takes off her glasses, cleans them, and puts them on again.

"Well I almost don't believe my eyes," she finally says.

Gale smirks at her and pushes the meat forward, "Better give me a square deal."

She smiles and cocks an eye at him, "$10 for the lot and I'll throw in a bowl of my best deer meat soup."

"That's not deer meat," Gale says.

Sae feigns surprise, "My gosh, it _is _Gale Hawthorne – the famous cousin come back to visit us!"

"They still call me that?"

She sadly nods, "Some do, but those of us that know better just make it a joke. What can I get you two today?"

"Gale shot a deer, so we came to let you buy some first," Katniss says. It surprises Gale that she's been silent until now.

"I've got two members of the original Mockingjay team," Sae scoffs. "Name your price."

Gale sneers, "The _Original_ Mockingjay team, huh?"

He sighed – just thinking of the Mockingjay just made him remember things he hated, things he didn't want to think about again.

_Inhale – exhale –forget. _

"Fifteen and we'll call it good," Katniss interjects.

Greasy Sae smiles and reaches out her hand to shake on it.

_Some things just don't change_, Gale thinks to himself. He looks back at Katniss, _but then again, some things do._


	4. Chapter 4

There were some things that Gale missed about his old friendship with Katniss – namely their ability to hunt as one person rather than as a team. But years had passed, differences had prevailed, and Gale really shouldn't have been surprised to realize that their unity was a little…off.

They had set off for the woods that morning with Johanna and Vick (who had come in the night before) and three bows, three sets of arrows, two axes, and enough rope to make a dozen snares.

He had set out with high hopes that maybe a hunting trip with the group would put Katniss at ease with him, but he soon learned he was wrong. If anything, having Johanna and Vick there made it seem like she was more nervous to be around him.

By noon, they had collectively killed one deer, three rabbits, and two fish – not a good day's haul. Rather than try to sell any of it, Johanna suggested they have a feast among themselves. With less than a week until the looming wedding and Peeta hustling to make all the final arrangements, Gale figured it was a good idea.

So they had went home to take showers and all agreed to meet back up at the home in what used to be the Victor's Village that Katniss and Peeta shared for the feast.

It was weird for Gale to head to the Victor's Village instead of the Seam to visit Katniss's house, having spent so much time wearing out the path between their houses in the Seam. Johanna and Vick walked on either side of him, discussing each other's strategy and kills in the woods.

"You should definitely use your wrist a little less when you throw the axe," Johanna was explaining. "That's why your throws suck."

"Yeah well you aim too high when you use the bow," Vick countered.

Gale rolled his eyes at the two, bickering like an old married couple. His mother found it cute, amusing, but Gale was ready for this wedding to be over just so the two of them would shut up for ten seconds. He trudged up to the front steps of the house, grateful he had brought a thicker jacket for the day.

He knocked once but heard no answer. He turned around and shrugged at Johanna, who made her way in front of him to open the door and lead them through the house as if she owned the place.

Gale was a little surprised to find Katniss at the sink, washing dishes, but he immediately made a beeline for her, offering to dry the dishes and put them away.

While Johanna and Vick's voices came floating in from the living room, Katniss and Gale shared an easy silence. She washed, he dried, and found the home of every plate, cup, and fork, and he tried to steal glances at her – just like when he was seventeen.

"Haymitch asks about you a lot," Katniss whispered, breaking his concentration.

Gale rolls his eyes and looks around the room, hoping no one heard. It was no secret to any of them that Gale didn't particularly like Haymitch – but Johanna was the only one in the room who knew that Haymitch and Effie often came to visit him. For some reason, Gale didn't want Katniss to know that he had Haymitch had a comradeship, feeling as if his "friendship" with Haymitch would make her feel as if they were going behind her back.

He lowers his voice, "What do you tell him?"

"Most days I just hang up the phone or hand it to Peeta."

Gale just nods and doesn't ask anything else. It was a wonder that Haymitch kept calling her, but Gale knew that as long as Katniss answered the phone, Haymitch knew she was alright.

"Peeta looked as if he were settling in well," Johanna comments loudly as she shuffles books into their places on the bookshelves. Gale thought Johanna was much like his mother, Hazelle: she couldn't stand to keep still. Vick kept his place on the couch.

"Yeah, it's taken a while," Katniss says, walking into the living room after the last cup has been put away. "The hallucinations and nightmares are almost gone now."

"Annie's almost are too," Johanna replies.

Vick nods, "Mom says hers are, but you know how that goes with moms."

Johanna laughs, "Speaking of which, is yours coming down for the wedding?"

Katniss cringes at the word 'wedding,' but it's only a little, and only Gale sees.

"I don't know – the whole thing has been Peeta's and Effie's planning, mostly."

Johanna just nods as if she had figured that all along. Gale makes his way to sit on the couch next to Vick and pretends to watch whatever game show is on television. It depresses him a little that television has gone so far downhill in the long years since the war, but it's an improvement over being forced to watch kids kill each other.

Gale shudders involuntarily.

"Have you been practicing your walk down the aisle?" Johanna asks.

"No," Katniss sighs. "Effie keeps warning me that I won't be able to walk in the shoes if I don't practice, but I'm not worried about it."

She laughs, and Gale feels warm, as if it's a very homey sound. "Peeta wants me to ask Haymitch to walk me down the aisle."

Johanna starts to laugh too – even Gale turns around to chuckle. "Haymitch? You two would start arguing the minute you grabbed his arm and you'd never stop!"

Katniss narrows her eyes at him, "Well I can't just walk down the aisle by myself."

Gale nods and turns back to the TV, considering this. "Just ask someone else, Catnip."

The room is silent for a few seconds and Gale can only picture the angry look on her face for being called by the nickname – but he just can't help it, it's too much fun to pick on her.

He can hear Johanna chuckle and hopes that he's off the hook. He turns around and smirks at her to let her know he's teasing her. Her hard look lightens up, and Gale knows he's safe.

"Maybe you should just start practicing anyway," Vick comments. "I'll be happy to fill in."

Katniss nods, "That would probably be a good idea. Let me go upstairs and get the stupid shoes."

When she leaves the room, Gale reaches around and thumps Vick on the head, leaving Johanna to fits of laughter.

"What was that for?!" Vick yells, so Gale thumps him again, making Johanna laugh even harder.

"The first was for offering to walk her down the aisle, that one was for keeping your fat mouth shut."

Vick was rubbing his head as Katniss came down in her awkward shoes. And that was the best word she could give for them: awkward. They're too high, too narrow, too gaudy, and to Katniss they're just plain ugly. But it's what Effie picked out – said some crap about how Cinna would love them. Katniss knew better – Cinna would've hated them and put her in something more comfortable…like her hunting boots.

But having looked in the mirror before she came down the steps, she did like the effects they had on her body, namely the way they made her toned, athletic legs look even more muscled up. She had never had much of a butt before, but the shoes made the little butt she had stick out, which was alright for her dress, she supposed.

She looked around the room, Johanna was smiling, Vick was smirking, and Gale – Gale just sat on the couch, arm around Vick, mouth wide open.

"Do they look okay, Gale?"

It took him a second to figure out how his mouth worked again, but Gale finally managed "They look great."

Katniss blushes, unsure why.

"So who's going to practice with me?" she asks.

Vick starts to open his mouth, but she sees Gale's arm move and a few seconds later, Vick yelps in pain and closes his mouth.

"I think your mom wanted us to help her with some of the food," Johanna says. "Looks like Gale will have to help."

The two of them rise and head to the hallway to retrieve their jackets, with Katniss and Gale in tow, "You don't have to go, really just stay and help us out, guys why the rush?"

But the goodbyes are said and the hugs given, and suddenly the door closes, leaving Gale and Katniss alone for the first time in days. She doesn't understand why she's so nervous around him.

Since the "triumphant return" in the Hob three days ago, Katniss and Gale haven't spent a minute without Johanna or Vick (who returned for the wedding the day before yesterday) or Hazelle or Posy or Haymitch or anyone except Peeta. Even hunting, they've taken Johanna or Vick just to see what the pair can do.

Gale silently reminds himself that it's no different of all the days and nights spent alone in the woods. He takes a deep breath and turns around to face her, extending his hand as a suggestion. She takes it – softly, as if she's afraid that it'll disappear at her touch.

But he doesn't.

As her hand touches his, Gale swears he sees sparks flying and can feel the electricity running down his arm. But instead of jerking back, it makes him ache for more. Instead of grabbing her around the waist and feeling the sensation all over his body, he puts his mind at the forefront, taking her hand firmly and placing it at the crook of his right elbow, smiling down at her.

He clears his throat in hopes to settle his voice, "We did promise them we would practice, you know."She takes his explanation and smiles back. "How fast are we supposed to go?"

"Effie said it would be like a waltz, with the step on three," Katniss shrugs. "Like the ones we did at Annie and Finnick's wedding?"

Gale closes his eyes and can see it like it was yesterday. She had looked so beautiful that day in nothing more than a simple reaping day dress. He remembered holding her close, wishing more than anything he could act on his feelings. But he shuts down that memory – it's not one he is sure he can deal with right now.

"Are you going to count out loud?"

She nods, "and… one…two…step. One, two, step." He sees her brow furrow and has to keep himself from laughing. She concentrates hard to make sure she's walking right in the big heels and Gale uses it as a little mantra to help control his speeding heartbeat. With each step in the uncertain heels, her hands dig into Gale's elbow, using his arm for support. Gale concentrates on the steps.

_One, two, step._

Such an easy mantra, such an easy sequence. Before long he's thinking other thoughts, gripping her hand harder, standing taller.

_One – my heart is beating so fast, surely she can hear it._

_Two – what if she hears it? What will she think?_

_Step._

When they reach the end of their makeshift aisle, Katniss immediately lets go of Gale's arm and begins to shuck off the uncomfortable shoes, "I think that went pretty well."

Gale chuckles, "The shoes make you almost as tall as I am."

He tries so hard to act casual, so hard to control his shaky voice, his erratic breathing, his wild heartbeat, desperate to hide it from her.

"You're a lot easier to walk with than Haymitch," she admits.

The silence settles and Gale racks his brain, trying to think of something – anything – that'll put her close to him again.

"Have you practiced the first dance?" he ventures.

She shakes her head, "I don't know how to dance, Gale. You know that. I stepped all over your feet each time we danced at the wedding in 13."

He smiles, standing from the couch and approaching her, offering both of his hands. "I know you can't dance, Catnip. That's why I'm going to teach you."

He reaches over with one hand to the mantle, turning on an old record player and praying that the record was something soft and slow. To his surprise, it was an old tune that he didn't recognize, but it was slow enough to twirl Katniss around a few times.

Gale takes her shaking hands in his, placing her left on his shoulder and her right in his own, placing his left around her waist. "Now," he began, "for a first dance, you'll want to be a lot closer," he chuckles at her grimace, "pretend you're in love, Catnip."

He pulls her in tighter, until they were less than a breath away.

As the band begins playing even louder, Gale leads Katniss around the living room, twirling her, dipping her, making her laugh, and dancing cheek to cheek. He feels her hand crawl to the back of his neck, and eventually his hair, resting her head on his chest.

"Your heart is beating fast," she remarks.

He does nothing except hold her closer, wondering how many years, months, weeks, moments, he's been waiting to have her this close.

She pulls back softly again, and her blue-gray eyes bear into his.

Gale is defeated.

He knows there is no way to save himself from her. She will always have his heart, and he knows there is no way of getting it back.

As he stands there, no longer moving, he knows what he should do – he should leave this house, this town, this district, leave and never come back. forget about her and how much he loves her.

But her pull is too strong. He simply can't fathom not looking into her eyes for as long as possible. One moment away from her is one moment too many.

She closes her eyes, and Gale can feel that magnetic pull – not from body to body, because they're already so close – from her lips to his, and he surrenders.

It's almost comical that he doesn't even hear the back door open, or Peeta stomp up the hallway. Gale's concentration from Katniss isn't broken until he hears the deep bass yelling, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Gale and Katniss immediately jump apart as if there's a fire that has sprung up between them. He realizes how it must look to Peeta – the soft music, the closeness… hell, he almost kissed her. He reaches over and turns off the record player, stuttering and trying to find the words to apologize.

"But – I – uh, she… um. What happened was.." but he can't find the words. Gale knows what he almost did was inexcusable, especially with the two of them by themselves.

Especially with their history.

He knows Peeta would have every right to want to kick his ass right now, but somehow Gale isn't even worried about that. All he can feel is the electricity pulsing through his body, focusing on the points where his hands actually touched her bare skin.

An uncomfortable minute of silence passes.

"Well?" Peeta spits. "Is anyone going to offer me an explanation or should I make one up?"

"I needed to practice for this wedding," Katniss boldly says.

Peeta looks confused for a moment and puts down the grocery bags in his hands. "I wasn't talking about that. I meant what the hell is Gale Hawthorne doing on this side of the country? Especially in _my_ living room."

Gale looks up to see Peeta staring daggers at the both of them, but out of the corner of his eye, Gale can see Katniss looking at him.

"I invited him."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: little bit of smut in this one, changed the rating for it, lol. hope you guys enjoy... xoxo

* * *

It wasn't the first time Gale had been caught with someone's girlfriend, or fiancée, or wife.

When the war had ended and he had started to gain popularity, he had never went to bed alone. He had a system: finding a girl he enjoyed was just the beginning – Gale loved the thrill of the hunt, the chase. The more he had to work to get a girl in his bed, the more exciting it was. But he'd fuck her until he was tired of her, then he'd move on.

At first it was just girls he worked with, girls he met at a local bar, girls he saw at the supermarket. But then it was like a high – he became addicted. Single, married, engaged, a mother, alone, with cats, whatever – as long as she said yes, Gale would fuck her for as long as he could get away with it. But if her husband came home too early, or if she started to want to get serious, then Gale would almost disappear as quickly as he came.

Game over.

It wasn't an era of his life that he was very proud of, but it had happened.

And as Gale sat at Greasy Sae's booth in the Hob, he reflected on each and every time he had been caught with a committed woman.

And not a single, solitary time did he ever feel ashamed of himself.

Except for yesterday.

As soon as Peeta thundered into that living room, Gale dashed out like a wild cat and decided to let Katniss handle the heat. It was what he was used to, he thought to himself. He was so ashamed that he couldn't even tell Johanna what had happened, he just turned his phone off and sunk into bed.

"Where's the hunting partner?" Sae asked him.

Gale shrugged, "Probably at home, waiting for me to leave the district."

Sae just shook her head, "Or she's probably out in the woods waiting for you."

"How do you know that?" Gale snapped.

Greasy Sae just smiled and started to clean off the top of the bar. "She came by early this morning, thinking she missed you and told me to let you know where she is."

Gale thought he was going to throw up his lunch. He grabbed his bow and quiver and headed out of the Hob, eager to get away from Sae's knowing smile.

How could Katniss still want to talk to him? He had acted like a complete coward, throwing her under the bus and leaving.

_Or maybe she's calling me out here so she can yell at me like she did when I got here_, Gale thought. It seemed very likely, but he kept an arrow nocked – just in case.

He trudged up the old snare line, gathering a few rabbits and resetting the snares delicately, taking his time before heading to their rock. It struck him that the forest had changed so much without hardly changing at all. The old snare line still looked like it did when Gale was eighteen, still felt the same beneath his fingers, the woods still smelled the same. But something was different, more than ten years had passed since the last time he had stood in this spot, nearly all the trees had regrown from the fires, and everything was almost the same.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hearing the long forgotten Mockingjays singing to each other in the forest. He remembered an old song Katniss used to sing to them and they would repeat back to her.

_Are you, are you,  
coming to the tree?_

He remembered the melody from their childhood together and repeats it by whistling it to the birds above him. He waits a few seconds before opening his eyes and the mockingjays repeat the soft and slow melody back to him – Gale smiles.

Before too much whistling, the lyrics of the entire song come floating back to him and he can remember catching Katniss sing it to herself in District 13, when Peeta was captured.

By the time he had reached the top of the hill and their rock came into view, Gale had started humming the last verse of the song. Although he wasn't completely surprised to see Katniss sitting with her back to him, he was surprised to hear her soft soprano mixing with the melody of the mockingjays.

_Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.  
Strange things did happen here,  
no stranger would it be,  
if we met up at midnight in the hanging tree._

"You have a beautiful voice," Gale softly said.

But Katniss didn't respond, she just sat quietly on the rock, in some jeans, hunting boots and a plaid button up shirt – not nearly enough for as cold as it was outside. Gale noticed that her hair wasn't in its usual braid, it was just hanging loosely around her shoulders. He crossed the distance between them to take his place on the rock beside her, but he scooted a little closer and put an arm around her.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he began, but she put a finger to his lips.

"They aren't done yet."

Katniss didn't look at him, she just closed her eyes and swayed in time with the music of the mockingjays.

_Strange things did happen here,  
no stranger would it be…_

Gale contemplated singing with her, but her voice was so beautiful he just couldn't bear to interrupt her. Instead, Gale rose from the rock, pulling Katniss with him. When she opened her eyes at him, confused, he simply leaned down and whispered into her ear, "We didn't finish our dance yesterday."

He puts her hand around his neck and the other inside his own and holds her close, humming the melody of the song.

The thing Gale has always loved the most about being around Katniss is the lack of need for words. He knows he can say far more by holding her than he could by actually speaking. And he knows that she can understand everything he's trying to say.

As he holds her, Gale wonders if it's going to be like this for the rest of their lives: doing something completely innocent – like dancing, with ulterior motives. Will every innocent gesture hold more feeling for him than it does for her? Forever?

He stops dancing when the mockingjays stop singing to them – simply holding Katniss close, with her head on his chest, wondering if he should pick up where he left off yesterday.

"Do you ever think about them?" she suddenly asks.

"Who?"

She pulls away from him and walks back to the rock, silent for a second. Gale can see how swollen and red her eyes look – like she's been crying.

"All of them. Finnick… P-Prim. Madge."

He just nods.

She looks up at him and he can see a tear slipping down her face, "Do you ever talk about them?"

He shrugs, "Sometimes. Annie and I talk about Finnick a lot. But I don't really like to mention…_her_." For some reason, it still bothers him to say her name.

She nods, looking at her boots. The silence settles again, and Gale contemplates reaching for her hand.

"Peeta hates to talk about any of it," she offers.

Gale just sits silently and reaches an arm around her shoulders for support. He waits patiently, knowing Katniss wouldn't breach a subject like this unless she sincerely needed to talk.

She takes a deep breath. "We used to talk about them all the time – especially when we were making the scrapbook. But we don't anymore. I don't even know where the scrapbook is now."

Gale knew about the scrapbook – Haymitch used to mention it nearly every time they spoke, but now that Gale thought about it he hadn't mentioned it in a long time.

"Do you _want _to talk about them?"

She shrugs, still looking at her shoes. "Talking about them is hard, but I think about them a lot."

"I do too," Gale says, lamely. The silence settles again, and Gale can't stand it any longer – he's been living in silence too long.

"What do you think about?" he asks her softly.

She sighs, "I wonder what Prim was thinking in her last moments."

Gale feels as if he's been stabbed in the heart with a knife of his own making.

"Do you think she blamed me?" Gale asks, "or any of us? Do you think any of them blame us?"

Katniss shakes her head, "No. They all were aware of the consequences of war – especially Finnick, Boggs, and Johanna. But Prim and Peeta…they were both so innocent."

Gale just nods and pulls her even closer. "I've been over everything in my mind a million times," he says.

"Somehow I knew you'd never forget about it."

He sighs, "I had actually planned to join up with Beetee for a year to find out what really happened. If I found out it wasn't mine, I was going to come here and tell you."

"It wouldn't have mattered," she says.

"Of course it would, Katniss!" Gale starts rambling. "If it wasn't my bomb then it's not my fault and I – "

"Gale!" she shouts. "Calm down."

She takes a deep breath before pulling back to look him in the eyes, "It wouldn't have mattered who's bomb it was because Prim would've wanted me to be friends with you either way," she whispers.

_I think she would've wanted a lot more than that_, Gale thinks to himself. Prim always wanted him to end up with Katniss, she had told him more than once during Katniss's first Games.

"Do you ever regret how it turned out?"

"Every day," Gale manages. "Every, single, day I wish I had done something different in the command room."

"No," she says. "I mean before that. Before or during the first Games."

What a loaded question. Of course he wishes he had.

"I wish…" Gale begins. But he doesn't know how to finish the sentence. There are so many things he wished he had told her before she boarded the train – hell, he had spent years wishing he had volunteered to go with her. But he knew he couldn't tell her that.

"I wish the peacekeepers had let me finish my sentence," he admits.

She leans her head back to look up at him, "What did you want to say?"

Gale almost grins with the memory of it. Just before she was sent to the train to whisk her away to the Capitol, Gale had given her strict and certain commands on how to stay alive once she was in the arena, find a bow, find water, find food, _hunt_.

But the peacekeepers came to get him, took him away before his most important command._ I want you to remember—_ he had said to her. But the door had shut before he finished it.

He reached his hands around her, one at the small of her back and the other at the nape of her neck, tangling in her hair. He couldn't look her in the eyes.

"I wanted to tell you that I loved you, and I'd be watching."

Katniss pulls back to see his eyes, but he can't force them open. Unwanted tears began spilling out of his closed lids, and he finds himself even more ashamed than he was when Peeta walked in.

"I spent the entire Games reliving that moment, wondering if it would've changed anything. Especially when you found Peeta. Would my love have hurt you or helped you? Would you have made it out live? Would you have come home to me? I spent the entire Games wanting answers that I didn't have."

He takes a deep breath, preparing to go on about fighting for her love, but he can't – he's cut off. Katniss smashes her mouth to his.

It's almost a sweet delicate kiss, but there's a hunger beneath it – a hunger that Gale hasn't felt since the last time he kissed her. He feels as if it's someone else who puts his arms around her, someone else's fingers that move up and down her back, someone else's mouth moving against hers.

She reaches underneath his jacket, tearing it off his arms, moving to the buttons on his shirt.

He reaches for her hands – it's the hardest thing he's ever had to do, but Gale knows he wants to do this the right way. She looks hurt, confused, but Gale reaches for his jacket, his bow, and his quiver before kissing her on the cheek.

"Let's go somewhere more comfortable," he whispers in her ear.

The whole way to the lake house, Gale's mind is racing.

_Is she serious?_

_Does she really want me to do this?_

_What if she changes her mind?_

If Katniss had willingly kissed him like that at age seventeen, Gale wasn't sure he would've been able to break off the kiss and take Katniss by the hand to the lake house. He wasn't sure he would've had the capacity or willingness to slow down and make love to her. As a boy, he would've been taken over by the idea of sex and would've ruined everything.

But now, Gale was 29 years old and experienced. He knew how to slow down and take his time, how to make a woman feel loved.

Not that he had ever really done that on purpose – no woman had ever mattered like she had. No one ever would – but he had enough practice to know what he was doing.

Katniss, on the other hand… Gale wasn't sure that she had ever made love or had sex before, and his mind was racing with all the ways he could go wrong.

He casually took her hand as they walked, surprised at how easily her small slender hand fit into his much larger, rougher hand. He spotted another mockingjay in the tree and started to whistle more of the song that Katniss had been singing earlier.

It only takes them a few verses to get to the lake house and Gale's not even sure how his conscious mind picked there, of all places. He opens the door to the small house, letting her go inside first. It's cozy, small, just like Gale remembers.

Sure enough, it was just as they left it, back when there was still a chance. Back when he still had a chance.

He looked in the cabinet above the counter, finding the hideaway for the old quilt they kept here—just in case. It had come in handy on more than one cold winter night, and as Gale spread it across the makeshift bed he knew it would come in handy again.

The plates, forks, knives, and cups were all accounted for too, although it seemed that more than one spider or rat had made its home inside in his absence. The fireplace was intact as well as the table, chairs, and bed.

He set down his bow and jacket on the table and walked outside the door to the firewood pile. He couldn't remember a time that they had ever used the fireplace during the day, but the temperature was dropping quickly and Gale was afraid of getting too cold.

When he came inside and stocked the fire, he was surprised to see Katniss skinning the animals on the table. "These rabbits will make a pretty good soup," she comments.

"Think we'll be out here all night?" Gale chuckles.

She shrugs, "Peeta said it was supposed to rain from mid-afternoon till tomorrow morning, so who knows."

By the time the fire is roaring, Katniss is finished putting the animals and the few other things they found in a pot of water. She set it on top and turned back to Gale, putting her arms around his shoulders.

"Were you the one who started the mockingjays on that song earlier?" she asked.

He nodded, afraid to speak. Katniss looked, smelled, sounded so beautiful to him that he was afraid he would ruin the night by speaking.

"That song always reminded me of you, ya know," she states. "'Cause you always wanted me to run away with you into the woods."

Gale smiled, "How about now? Would you run away with me now?"

Katniss giggled at him and reached up to pull her face closer to his, inching closer until she was a breath away.

He knew he had no choice, no way out of this that he could resist Katniss and go on with life. Gale Hawthorne knew that as long as Katniss Everdeen wanted him, he would have no choice but to say yes.

And so he closed the distance.

He gently pressed his lips to hers, putting his arms around her waist to lift her off the ground and towards the bed. He sat her on it, toying with her flannel shirt as she ripped off his button down. Her hands were cold on his chest, and he almost cried out at the frigid touch, but instead he put his lips to her neck, trying to go slow, trying to make love.

When her torso was uncovered, Gale sat back and shucked off his hunting boots, reaching for hers as well. Her long hair fell around her shoulders, making her look innocent and pure to him. He leaned down to gently kiss her lips again, while reaching for the buckle of his jeans.

When he was naked in front of her, and she was naked before him, Gale wrapped them into the giant quilt waiting for them. He shifted his weight on top of her, poised to surrender everything to her.

"Are you sure?" he breathed, looking deep into her eyes.

She nodded.

Gale didn't need anything else to be said. He buried himself inside her, making her cry out against his mouth. She moved beneath him, crying out his name and tangling her hands in his long hair. Gale simply put his arms around her back and made passionate love to her, showing her that this was how a man was supposed to treat a woman – that this was how he would treat her forever.

He felt his orgasm building inside him, but he tried to hold off, desperate for her to get hers first. He felt her body jerk, heard her scream against his ear, building and building until...

She screamed, pawing at his back, looking at him through blank eyes.

Gale let go, orgasming and collapsing on top of her. He panted, pushing himself up onto his forearms so he could look into her eyes.

She smiled at him – the first genuine smile he had seen all day.

"I love you."

* * *

the morning sun was almost too much for Gale, waking him up out of a deep, content sleep. The quilt was drawn to midway up his chest, and for a second he questioned why he was naked.

_then he remembered_.

He had spent that night making passionate love to Katniss, and had even told her he loved her. He rolled over on the bed, reaching his fingers out to pull her back to him, but the bed was empty.

Katniss was gone.

He sat up, searching the rest of the small room for her, but she was gone. She had taken his bow too.

He rubbed the sleep off his face, betting she had went hunting for breakfast or home to take a shower. He found his watch on the side of the bed, it read 9:43 am.

_Damn_, he had slept in late.

He got untangled from the quilt and reached for his pants, putting on his clothes to try to set out to find Katniss. Knowing she didn't have a cell phone only annoyed him – she could've at least left a note. He reached for his phone out of his jacket pocket.

**Missed Calls  
Johanna (5)**

Five missed calls from Jo? Gale thought something must surely be wrong.

He punched her number on the speed dial and sat back on the bed.

"Where in the world are you?" Johanna hissed.

"I'm at the lake house."

"Is Katniss with you?"

Gale chuckled, "She was, but she took off somewhere. After the storm rolled in we thought we should stay."

"And you couldn't call me?" Johanna hissed again. "Well, Peeta was looking for miss brainless this morning and came to your mother's. I covered for your asses by saying you were hunting, and it's nearly ten am, Gale! You two should be back by now!"

"I know, I know," Gale soothed. "Let me find her and we'll come back."

"No, Gale. No 'we.'"

"Why not?"

Johanna sighed, "Peeta thinks you two ran away together and he wants to blow a bullet through your brains, Gale."


End file.
